Why sharing our stories matters

I love a good story—I think most of us do—and a glance at my bookshelves or a flick through my growling Audible library acts as a daily reminder.

But outside of entertainment, the stories we tell, and the stories we choose to share, are how we communicate what we think, what we value, and why. They help us relate to each other, whether that’s through wisdom passed down by elders, shared experiences that bring connection, or moments that keep memories alive.

Stories as windows

Stories are a big part of my coaching conversations, and I’m always struck by what people choose to share—and what those stories can reveal.

I’ve noticed that stories act like windows. Not just into someone’s life, but of their life—framing the way they see things, what they focus on, and how they make meaning.

Sometimes the window is beautifully adorned, dressed in rich detail and precision; appearance matters, and great care has gone into the presentation.

Sometimes it’s plain glass, seemingly offering a direct, unfiltered view.

Sometimes the glass is frosted; silhouettes appear, but not the full picture. And sometimes the window is hard; tucked away, vague, unclear even to the person trying to look through it.

Beyond the words we say

Our stories are uniquely our own—shaped by our background, our way of processing, our culture, and the lens we've developed over time. They reflect our relationships, beliefs, dreams, fears, and desires. And, often, they carry the weight of what we think we should say—what’s expected of us by society, by family, or by our peers.

But there’s always more than the words themselves.

Sometimes, the most powerful parts of a story are the parts left unsaid. The flicker of a facial expression. A shift in tone or posture. A moment of hesitation. These unspoken elements often reveal more than a paragraph of words ever could.

I pay attention to these in my work with clients—not as a way of decoding them, but as a way of being present to what might be trying to surface.

Stories in transition

When someone is in the midst of change—leaving a role, redefining their identity, or stepping into something unfamiliar—their story may come into focus, or may begin to unravel. The story that once made sense might not anymore. Or a new story might be forming, that is not yet ready to be told.

This is where the act of sharing, tentatively or imperfectly, can be transformative. Not because we need to have the story figured out, but because giving it space allows it to take shape.

And sometimes, seeing our own windows a little more clearly is what allows us to take the next step.

Debbie

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I am passionate about supporting clients who want to move through one or more work-life transitions. Get in touch to find out more about working with me.