Why self-care isn’t selfish

Debbie
May 18
4 min read

Experience has shown me that being tuned into what we need during transitions is an important part of self-care.

When I was still working in my most recent full-time day role, which involved working online, I felt the pressure of being available on-screen all day. When instant messages came up or meetings would appear in the diary at short notice, there was an expectation by that organisation that I and others in my team would respond immediately. It was just the way it was.

It was one of a series of roles with similar expectations around availability and after about a year of working at that pace, I attended a class that I hadn’t been to before at my gym. It was an afrobeats and soca dance class. I had no idea what to expect but when I tell you that I loved that class, I’m not exaggerating in the slightest! The vibe, the music the cheeky routines, the laughter - and connecting with the instructor and fellow fun-loving class attendees.

I knew this would not be a one-off. I had to attend that afrobeats and soca class again, but the snag was the time. It was at 12 noon on a Friday: the middle of the working day.

Thinking ‘what the heck!’ I booked myself into the class the following Friday. And the Friday after that. And the Friday after that too. In fact, I made my afrobeats and soca class a recurring appointment in my work diary every Friday, cunningly disguising it as ‘OOO’ (out of the office)!

Doing that felt deliciously rebellious – but more importantly, I was putting myself first - before the job. For once. And besides, although I was entitled to take a lunch break, until that point, I rarely did so.

Every so often a work meeting would pop up at around the same time as my afrobeats and soca class and I would prioritise the class every time.

Sometimes a meeting would appear in a slot adjacent to my class, and at such times I would take my laptop to the gym with me and attend the meeting from my car in the gym car park.

Self-care in a dance class

The class is an energetic one and it really does get the heart rate up – but it’s all part of the fun.

As well as the fun elements that make the class so enjoyable, the benefits of exercise are well documented and supported by research.

Exercise can:

lower the risk of developing heart disease
lower the risk of some cancers
lower the risk of stroke
help prevent bone and muscle loss
improve energy and circulation
improve mental wellbeing
maintain our cognitive abilities
improve the quality of sleep
lead to better quality of life and longevity
boost gut health
and many more besides

Physical activity is also one of the regular habits of people who live in the Blue Zones. Those who live in the five regions that make up the Blue Zones – Okinawa, Japan , Sardinia, Italy, Nicoya Peninsula, Costa Rica, Ikaria, Greece and Loma Linda, California – have significantly longer and healthier lives. On that basis, I’m all in!

I realised that not only did I love attending the weekly afrobeats and soca class, but I needed it, and based on conversations I’ve had with others in the class (I still attend it by the way), they needed it too.

Taking self-care a step further

Fast forward a year and I was still working at the same pace in the day job and still going to my afrobeats and soca class – and had been regularly sharing with others in the class that they too could consider blocking out their diaries to make consistent space for it.

Then I took another brave step.

One day, fed up and exhausted after another run of back-to-back long meetings, I took the decision not to attend the last meeting. I had been sitting in my chair for 3.5 hours straight and had had enough! I shut my laptop, put on my coat and shoes and headed outside for a walk. I walked for half an hour.

After that I would regularly go out for a walk whenever I felt the need to escape the screen and take a real break from work and its ‘always on’ demands.

Putting myself first in this way made a huge difference to me. I realise that for me that exercise is a form of self-care, and it is important to incorporate it into my day. Introducing exercise to the working day has taken my self-care to new heights and is still very much a part of how I work now, even though I am no longer in that role and am in full control of the pace and intensity of my work.

Clients I have worked with have also used self-care as part of their transition journey, in different forms. For some, it includes taking part in outdoor activities, for others it's about resting, journalling, taking time out from caring for others, learning something new, going to a spa, doing something artistic, to name but a few. The main thing is to find what works and do it. Self-care is about helping yourself.

Why is self-care so important?

Self-care is crucial for enhancing overall well-being, helping to manage stress, improving health, and maintaining a fulfilling life.

Depending on the self-care practice you choose, the benefits include:

Mental health

Reduces stress, anxiety, and depression
Improves emotional resilience
Enhances self-awareness and mindfulness

Physical health

Boosts immune function
Lowers the risk of chronic illnesses such as heart disease and high blood pressure
Promotes better sleep and increases energy levels

Emotional well-being